I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
