she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
