WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
