Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
