I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize