I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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