loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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