just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
