I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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