Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
