My nipple is on Facebook.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
