Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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