Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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