She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
