And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
