stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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