he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
