I love black thongs
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
