So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
