Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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