The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize