Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize