i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
