I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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