oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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