So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
