When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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