So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
