She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
