Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
