I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
