What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
