So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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