Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
