Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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