if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Randomize