it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm like, not good at living.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
