That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
