I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
