forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.