After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
