I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
