Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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