Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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