Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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