I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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