he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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