The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize