Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
