And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
