I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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