i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You're like the curious george of whores
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
