Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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