There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
