Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
