Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
