meet me or not, i'm out of control
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize