I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
