This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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